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The Big Book of Irish

Billy and Pa’ were walking in
the woods when they came across a sign saying, “Tree Fellers

Billy said, “Ye know Pa’,
it’s a shame Paddy isn’t here. We could have gotten the job”.

—–   —–

A man is driving along in the
Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he’s in need of
petrol, the man decides to stop.

He says to the attendant at the station, “Fill it up, will you?”.

The man says “Sorry – we’re right out of petrol.”

So the man considers, and says “Well, I’m a bit low on oil, would you
mind topping that up?”

And the attendant responds “Sorry, but no oil either.”

The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he
gets the by-now predictable response that he can’t do that.

The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant, “Just
what kind of petrol station is this ?”

The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man
“To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front.”

The man then says “Well, in that case, you can blow up the tires!”